The Weight of My Crown

How do you classify yourself as a grown up girl?

All this while, just after my graduation, just after I got my first job, just after I got my own salary, just after I bought my own asset, just after I got a steady love relationship, I thought I were grown up enough. What I thought is actually wrong.

I am growing up. Still growing up.

Few weeks left, there will be a crown on my head. I will be a wife to someone I spare my life with all this time.

In this growing up phase, I can't really accept obstacles. Especially when the obstacles were created by someone else. Intentionally.

Why do peoples act they are rich when they are not?
Why do peoples act they are good when they are not?
Why do peoples smile in front of us when they are actually laugh at the back?

I believe, the one who hold a sword in front of you is not your enemy. But the one who hold a knife behind you is your enemy.

On behalf of my family, we are welcoming new family members in our life. In-laws. Are they really welcoming us too? Why are they treating us like we are not going to be a family? Are they really standing on the ground? How many levels separate us that allow them to look down on our family? So-called perfect people exist. *at least acting like perfect.. purrfect*

I may not be super rich. At least I can afford my own life.
I may not be good. At least I don't make other people suffers.

Are these obstacles are the weight of the crown?

Patient. Pray. Tears.

If you are the one that will put the crown on my head, treat me like what I deserve.

Princess smiles to everybody but only cries when there is nobody.

Good night beautiful hearts! =)